Some Truth About Detachment


Something that is a spiritual truth is that even the most incredible tools and practices have a shadow side in the wrong hands or our lower nature. They can be used poorly and let’s admit here, most of us have been there on our journey. It’s our human tendency to want to feel holy then use it as a deflection or something to hide behind with others when challenged. Sometimes the more holy we think we are, the more at the mercy of our shadow we can be. Nothing wrong with that if we are honest and open to moving to the right use and intention. 

Detachment is one such practice. Detachment can become an excuse for arrogance, indignation, withdrawing love and having no self-responsibility. In our human effort to run from pain, we can hide behind detachment rather than deal appropriately with a situation or person. 

Detachment never means withdrawing love! What it does mean is:

• You have chosen not to be impacted or infected by what’s going on. 
• Not getting hooked in – physically, emotionally, mentally. 
• Holding space for the right understanding and outcome.
• Choosing what is self-loving and best for all in the moment
• Open to love through holding an open mind and heart, holding compassion. 

I’ve encountered many arrogant yogis out there. It’s not limited to yogi’s, but that’s been my world. If we are remaining warm and humble, we know we’re moving along well. If we have become a robot, caught in our heads, a cold spiritual scientist then somethings amiss. Let’s add there argumentative, defensive and ‘right’. 

A similar good word is 'dispassion'. In spiritual terms dispassion is an excellent thing, it's not cold. I like to take this to mean not getting gripped by the lure of a passionate story or drama or thought. Keeping your centre, allowing what wants to crash to crash and it not pulling you with it. Passion is a buzz word now, but too much passion is as harmful as no passion. We can be passionate and neutral!

Detachment is a great practice. It takes a lot of practice too. To me, as you now, the ultimate is to be able to keep our heart open no matter what, and not let life make us hard or cold or lonely. No matter how messy that may be in the process, it’s well worthwhile for an authentic and happy life. 

If you would love some support to learn how to remain detached yet loving and available then reach out – We all need it at times. It’s smart to want to master great spiritual practices and to learn to live a rich, soulful life.